The discomfort of boredom is strange. Whereas I can track in my body when I'm afraid—in the belly mostly—or angry—belly, face, and in my arms—or sad—throat mostly—I do not know what exactly is going on when I feel bored. There doesn't seem to be any apparent physical sensations associated to boredom. There is a sense of restlessness in the body—legs that want to move all the time for me—and my mind keeps talking and talking and showing me images at a frenetic rhythm, but it's kind of hard to describe the first person experience, it feels very ghost-like.
In terms of external situation, boredom occurs in my life when there is a sense that I want to do something, but am not, either because of a lack of clarity, fear, or just because I can't really be bothered to spend that energy on it, which I guess means I don't really want to do it. The situations when I am not bored on the other hand are when I am doing something engaging and meaningful, or when I am totally fine with doing nothing because I know that what matters to me is taken care of.
So overall, I would say that boredom manifests in my body as a lack of connection to my surroundings, but that this apathy doesn't have any vivid sensations because it is precisely the lack of said sensations. There is a said of restlessness in the gaze, in the mind and also sometimes in the body, but everything sort of feels numb, “known” and therefore not worth paying attention to. We could call this the apathy of the familiar, or simply taking Life itself for granted.
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2024-08-05